Sometimes I am scared of letting go of the past because what if I’m making a mistake by letting it go? I am stuck on that “what could’ve been” phase. But hey, I guess I shouldn’t be scared to make a mistake. There’s plenty of room for error in life. I always encourage other to not dwell on the past, focus on the present, and keep a positive outlook for the future so maybe I should really take my own advice. I should be the recipient of my own lecture from now on.
Don’t mind me I’m just venting.
Some people don’t understand how fortunate they are. Yes, there are some that are less fortunate then others but we’re all fortunate in some sorta way. I can’t help but become uptight and anal sometimes or more so a bitch. It’s not the best excuse but if anyone who has been in my position or is would understand how stressed out I am not just with school but with the position I am in and everything else around me. I apologize to anyone if I made you felt like I was being disrespectful or whatever it is because those aren’t my intentions. I have a shit ton on my plate and I have to consume all of it at one time. I’m at rock bottom. I feel like I lost myself somewhere while being caught up in this mix. It’s not necessarily that lonely feeling but it’s that feeling that you get when you don’t feel at home. I lost myself and I need to find myself again… I’m slowly very slowly trying to pick myself up again. It’s so hard!!! I just want to run away or let alone be here anymore but the only thing that keeps me striving is that feeling that you get when you know accomplished something. That’s the best feeling you could give yourself. No one knows entirely how I feel or what’s going on with me but if I could sum it up it would pretty much just be hectic and stressful. Please i pray.. keep all of this motivation I have flow within me until I have nothing else to worry about but being happy.
